A Day of Clichés

Photo Credit to Kampus Production on Pexels

            “Come on, Grandma,” shouted Drew. “Let’s go outside and blow some soap bubbles.”

            “Hold your horses, young man,” warned Grandma Barty. “Don’t start putting the cart before the horse. We need to move this darn couch.”

            “What are you talking about?” asked Drew. “I ain’t got no horses or cart.” Seven-year-old Drew was spending the day with his grandma while his parents went to the big city.

            “Didn’t your parents teach you that ain’t is not a word?” Grandmas asked, shaking her head. “That kind of language gets my goat.”

            “What goat? What are you so mad about, Gram?

            “I’m not angry. It’s just that people will think you’re uneducated.” Grandma looked at Drew to see if he was still up to the task. “Now, let’s take the bull by the horns and finish this job,” she urged, grabbing one end of the massive sofa.

            “Are you sure you’re feeling okay, Grandma? This here’s a couch—not a bull!” Drew insisted, pointing at the weathered davenport. “It’s too heavy!”

            Grandma Barty sighed. “Listen, boy. We’re moving this monstrosity—come hell or high water. You can bet your bottom dollar on that!”

            “It won’t budge.” Drew fell on the floor laughing, seemingly with a case of the giggles. “Don’t you think we need to think outside the box?” Before she could answer, Drew went into another round of hysterics.

            “What in tarnation is wrong with you? Now get up, and let’s put some muscle into this. I may be old, but I’m still as fit as a fiddle.”

            Drew got to his feet and grabbed the other end. “We need to work together, Grandma. On the count of three, let’s see if we can move this thing. “One! Two!” But before Drew could call out the magic number, his hand flew up to his nose.

            “What’s wrong now? Are you just being plain lazy? Don’t try to pull the wool over my eyes!”

            “I’m trying, Gram. It’s just that you cut the cheese right when I was going to say three. Maybe we should do this later.”

            “No, we’ll do it now!” Grandma Barty demanded. “I’m still fresh as a daisy.”

            Finally, after several tries, Drew and Grandma got the couch to budge. They were so tired they collapsed into the cushions.

            As they were resting, Drew’s parents burst into the room, having returned from their outing. Drew’s mom, Jill, took one look and asked. “Are you okay, Mom? What’s wrong? Did Drew wear you out?”

            “Oh, hogwash! I’ve never been better. You know what I always say, No pain, no gain! No guts, no glory! We just have to put our noses to the grindstone and keep a stiff upper lip!”

            Mom turned to Drew. “What is Grandma carrying on about?”

            Drew winked at Grandma Barty and said, “You know, Mom, Grandma is a force to be reckoned with. She goes against the grain, but when push comes to shove, she’s the best thing since sliced bread.”

Categories HumorTags , ,

102 thoughts on “A Day of Clichés

  1. Lol, every time there’s talk about cliches (or grammar), I like to repost this Reddit classic. Enjoy!

    “I hole-hardedly agree, but allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes, I think you are wrong. In an age where false morels are a diamond dozen, true bird shoes are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So, I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can, because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying, it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument, you seem to throw everything in but the kitch and stink, and even though you are having a feel day with this, I am here to bring you back into realty. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your red or brick. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of morel righteousness. A perquisite is to remember what comes around grows abound, and when supply and command fails, you will be the first to go. Mark my worlds, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn’t take rocket appliances to kill two stoned birds. It’s clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and except the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but, I swear on my mother’s grade and her mating name that, when you put the petal to the medal, you will past with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake.”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. petespringerauthor February 9, 2022 — 8:37 am

      Hilarious! I’ve never seen this before. It reminds me of some of those posts about misunderstanding song lyrics. We happily sang along with our own lyrics for years until coming to the realization that we’d been butchering a song the entire time. 😂

      Like

  2. This is so cute 😊 it made me think of my 3 year old and how she’ll never really have to hear anyone speaking non basic English. When did we ever stop speaking like that? 🤔

    Liked by 1 person

    1. petespringerauthor December 20, 2021 — 10:09 pm

      I think it’s a generational thing. Language is constantly evolving, and the kids of today are creating their own cliches and slang phrases.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Indeed! I can’t imagine people speaking the way the do now in professional setting though 😅

        Liked by 1 person

  3. No. More. Clichés, Pete. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. petespringerauthor December 14, 2021 — 9:41 am

      Okay, It is what it is. At the end of the day, there will be no more cliches. 😊

      Like

  4. You hit the bull’s eye, Pete! I love this. I used to have one or two illustrated clichés books.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. petespringerauthor December 10, 2021 — 4:20 pm

      I have fun with them. I think they’re more from our generation, Miriam, but seeing what new ones catch on will be interesting. A penny saved is a penny earned needs to be adjusted for inflation. 😎

      I remembered you were going to take a blogging break, but suddenly it occurred to me that maybe I’m not getting your posts again. It happened to me at a couple of other sites, but that has stopped.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. One blogger has all kinds of flash fiction challenges. One uses Clichés and the other one prohibits using them.

        Yes, I’m back from my blogging break. But people don’t keep track, of course. So I must visit them so that they know I’m back.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Cliches survive because they are true. In fact, I’m using a few in a piece already in my queue. Unapologetically, of course. Your post breezed along, just as I like it, Pete! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. petespringerauthor December 10, 2021 — 7:45 am

      They’re part of my language, and I’m okay with that. I should be moving on, Marian. The squeaky wheel gets no grease. It’s back to the drawing board.😉

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Hahaha, these just roll off your tongue don’t they Pete! You fit 3 in with your last comment alone!!! Thanks for a funny post that does touch on the fact that there are unique colloquialisms to every generation and they have to be navigated depending on who you are speaking with. And if their use helps define a character – go for it!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. petespringerauthor December 3, 2021 — 8:46 am

      Isn’t language fascinating that way? For every one of these old phrases, others will come along to replace or add to our language. When asked at work how she was doing, one of my colleagues loved to say, “Another day, another 50 cents.” I’d always heard it as “another day, another dollar.” Perhaps she was taking inflation into account.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. This is great, Pete, but after reading all the comments above will have to refrain from coming up with my own cliche in response. This quick, fun read just got my day off to a smiling start!

    Like

    1. petespringerauthor December 2, 2021 — 9:20 pm

      What’s the matter? Cat got your tongue? Don’t be a party pooper. Don’t throw in the towel. Just jump in with both feet. After all, this is going to hurt me more than it’s going to hurt you. 😄

      Like

  8. That’s hilarious, Pete. I really enjoyed it. Hub and I often discuss some of these ridiculous sayings that even native English speakers have trouble understanding and wonder what speakers of English as another language would make of them. I love the way you have wrapped so many into one parcel.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. petespringerauthor December 1, 2021 — 8:38 am

      Your comment brought back a memory from my high school Spanish class. Two Spanish exchange students were in our class for some reason. They were constantly giggling—I think primarily because it sounded funny to hear these silly Americans butchering their language.

      I’ve had the same conversation that you and your hubby have about ELL students.

      Like

  9. Maybe it’s an age thing, but I love cliches. They remind me of happy family times. This is so cute, Pete!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. petespringerauthor November 30, 2021 — 10:01 pm

      I agree, Jacquie. Sometimes they seem to fit a character just right. I think that’s one of the reasons I’m resistant to the regular writing advice of never using cliches in writing. What if that’s the way a character talks?

      Liked by 1 person

  10. I love cliches. I know I’m not supposed to. But one man’s (or woman’s) meat is another’s poison. Or the other way around. You put a silver lining in the cliche cloud, giving us all a chuckle. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. petespringerauthor November 30, 2021 — 11:43 am

      Why can’t we like them? It seems that writing has all of these arbitrary rules to follow, which are then violated to different degrees. If it fits somebody’s character to use cliches, then I say go for it. I don’t think I’ve heard “the one person’s meat is another’s poison” before. That’s similar to “one person’s junk is another one’s treasure.”

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, lots of cliches… of cliches. I teach my writing students just what you said. If their character would use a cliche, let them! Besides, cliches are like “myths” to me. There is so much truth in them….

        Liked by 1 person

  11. That’s one smart seven-year-old. Did you write this as a cheat sheet to know which cliches to avoid when writing your novel? 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. petespringerauthor November 29, 2021 — 8:10 pm

      I was just being a little silly. While I’m not recommending that everyone start using cliches, I get a little miffed by writing books that tell us never to use them. Of course, this is not the voice of a seven-year-old, but I know many older folks that use cliches regularly.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I actually didn’t know they were called “cliches” in English. I used to call them “expressions” translated from the Dutch word. We have many of these saying in Dutch as well and I love them. But, I could never totally translate them and find that non-Dutch speakers miss out by never knowing them. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. petespringerauthor November 29, 2021 — 9:53 pm

        English is filled with nonsensical language patterns. Toss in these weird literal phrases, and it’s no wonder that the language is so confusing to English Language Learners.

        Liked by 1 person

  12. petespringerauthor November 29, 2021 — 6:21 pm

    I don’t think I’ve heard that one before. It’s funny how many of these are part of my vernacular. Sometimes I’d say one without thinking about it and look at the sea of blank faces. “What is he talking about? Putting my eggs in one basket?”😂

    Like

  13. This was delightful! I still say those cliches, more than I can count. I guess that makes me from strong cloth, not weak cloth (that’s one of my grandmother’s.) I loved this, Pete.

    Like

  14. A wonderfully hysterical way to get those out of your system if you are trying to avoid cliches in future posts!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. petespringerauthor November 29, 2021 — 4:51 pm

      As if young people didn’t have enough evidence that I’m old.😂

      Like

      1. You have to get old but at least you get to stay smart and funny!

        Like

      2. petespringerauthor November 29, 2021 — 7:06 pm

        Two out of three isn’t bad.

        Like

  15. Lol Pete. You worked real hard to get as many as you could in. Good job. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. petespringerauthor November 29, 2021 — 3:19 pm

      I know writers are supposed to never use cliches, but you know about us rule-breakers.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Lol, well done Pete! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  16. Whoa Nellie, darn near knocked my socks off, Pete,

    Like

    1. petespringerauthor November 29, 2021 — 1:52 pm

      This is a fine kettle of fish I’ve gotten myself into, John, as there are so many of these darned phrases. It may be time to bury the hatchet.😄

      Liked by 1 person

  17. Love this story – thanks for sharing with us!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. petespringerauthor November 29, 2021 — 12:59 pm

      Just messing around a little bit, John. Thanks for reading.

      Like

  18. Grandmas know how to get their way when they want to.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. petespringerauthor November 29, 2021 — 1:01 pm

      They do. Besides, who can turn down a grandmother? That would be sacrilegious. 😊

      Like

  19. Ha ha ha. Nicely done, Pete! It’s amazing how many of these we use and in many cases don’t know their origins. I love language. These are the bane of fantasy writers because they’re so “of this world.” You wouldn’t believe how much of language is related to driving cars and playing baseball!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. petespringerauthor November 28, 2021 — 5:00 pm

      You’re definitely right about sports references. “Throw in the towel, against all odds, a force to be reckoned with, and when the going gets tough, the tough get going” all come to mind.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. There are a ton of them! Strike out, touch base, throw a curve ball, off base, step to the plate, out of left field. I love language. There are a bunch for football too. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  20. I would say you have more than your ducks in a row in this post Pete. Very well done. Each time I tell one of these old sayings to my granddaughter she writes them down and tells me how funnyy they are.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. petespringerauthor November 28, 2021 — 7:02 am

      I remember the mystified looks on my students’ faces when I’d utter one of these phrases they hadn’t heard before. Let’s not throw out the baby with the bathwater.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, there certainly are plenty of the old phrases to throw at the young people. Ha

        Liked by 1 person

  21. Pete, how did you do this?! Obviously before I read this it was the calm before the storm and I should have looked before I leapt. This teaches me not to put all my eggs in one basket but on the other hand he who hesitates is lost. All things considered this tale is the bees knees!!! I think I’ll go have a lay down now. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. petespringerauthor November 28, 2021 — 6:59 am

      Well done, Annika! I should have known these cliches would become a pain in the neck. Remember not to put all your eggs in one basket. If the shoe was on the other foot, it would be like taking candy from a baby.

      Liked by 1 person

  22. Wow, I’ve never seen so many cliches in one place! In our writing we really should avoid them like the plague, and not touch them with a 10-foot pole. Congratulations on Ryan’s engagement!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. petespringerauthor November 27, 2021 — 10:07 pm

      Then there are those special ones designed for us old farts. “It’s our last hurrah, and Springer’s got one foot in the grave.

      Yeah, we’re happy for them. I’m glad we like Ryan’s fiancee and don’t have to fake it.

      Like

  23. “I’ll bet you a dollar to a doughnut” that you haven’t heard the end of these! That was something my dad always said. When my mom thought we had gone way out of our way to get some place, she would say, “We went by way of Hazel Baker’s barn.” I asked her who that was, but she didn’t know, it was something her parents said.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. petespringerauthor November 27, 2021 — 8:16 pm

      That’s a new one on me, Kent. I don’t know if this ever happened to you when you were teaching, but occasionally one of those old phrases would come out of my mouth, and the kids would look at me like I was their great-great-grandpa.

      Like

  24. A fun post, Pete and I know most of them and still use some…:) x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. petespringerauthor November 27, 2021 — 6:58 pm

      I’ve opened a can of worms with this topic. Now I’m skating on thin ice.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Haha…There are certainly some lively comments…x

        Liked by 1 person

  25. Too funny! Great job! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. petespringerauthor November 27, 2021 — 6:55 pm

      A little different from my usual post. What’s next? I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.

      Like

      1. It was, Fun to stretch and try something new sometimes, isn’t it. Keep doing it. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  26. I love it! 😂😂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. petespringerauthor November 27, 2021 — 6:53 pm

      Thanks, Carla. When it rains, it pours. Your grandson is cute as a button.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks Pete, I laughed my head off.

        Liked by 1 person

  27. Pretty darn clever, Pete.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. petespringerauthor November 27, 2021 — 6:46 pm

      Thanks, Jacqui, but it may be time to let sleeping dogs lie. Oops, I can’t help myself. Beggars can’t be choosers.

      Liked by 1 person

  28. Lol! This is GREAT! I am familiar with all of those old saying and still use them! Thanks for sharing, Pete!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. petespringerauthor November 27, 2021 — 6:43 pm

      We’re showing our age, Jan. These all roll right off my tongue.

      Like

  29. Hehehe reminds me of me when I have chats with Charlotte and she takes everything way too literal 😳😜🤪

    Char also has some old Amelia Bedelia books that illustrate what era they were published in 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. petespringerauthor November 27, 2021 — 6:40 pm

      Our son just turned 29 today, and I used to read Amelia Bedelia to him. Probably not his favorite, but that’s a very accurate comparison.

      Guess what? He got engaged yesterday. He operates from the guys’ playbook of telling as little as possible.🤣 He did tell us he was going to propose. At least he’s keeping us in the loop a little bit. It’s not going to happen until June of 2023, but at least I can see the finish line. Just wait until Charlotte starts bringing guys around.😉

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Awwww congrats, Pete!! You guys must be so thrilled!!! 🎉🎉🎉❤️😍

        Haha we definitely are dreading that day when she starts talking about relationships lol

        Liked by 1 person

    1. petespringerauthor November 27, 2021 — 6:34 pm

      Well, let’s nip that in the bud. At the end of the day, we’re back to square one.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That was a low hanging fruit 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  30. Great Scott! 💞 Remembering when from both sides of the fence… THANKS, PETE! Sharing…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. petespringerauthor November 27, 2021 — 6:30 pm

      It is incredible how many there are. They are not few and far between.

      Liked by 1 person

  31. That is so funny. Sometimes kids repeat things they hear their parents or grandparents say. They actually don’t know what it means but they like the sound of it. I taught ESL and it was the cliches and idioms that were the hardest for them to figure out. I’m sure all languages have them.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. petespringerauthor November 27, 2021 — 12:47 pm

      Right! The literal meanings of the words must seem awfully funny to them.

      Liked by 1 person

  32. that was a fun and clever post. the line about cutting the cheese was just icing on the cake. Just don’t rest on your laurels…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. petespringerauthor November 27, 2021 — 8:27 am

      I don’t remember what your post was about (that old memory thing again), but my story was inspired by something you wrote. One time for fun, I wrote the beginning of cliches and challenged them to finish them. Some of their responses were much funnier than the actual cliche. You can lead a horse to water, but it can’t lead you.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I can’t remember which, if any, of my posts might have inspired you to write such a clever post. And that sounds like a fun assignment…

        Liked by 1 person

  33. Haha, Pete, I’ve never seen so my clichés in one post. I’m not even sure if I know that many.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. petespringerauthor November 27, 2021 — 8:22 am

      I could keep going until the cows come home. Thankfully, I’ll spare you that.😃

      Liked by 1 person

  34. No wonder you like my monthly cliche posts😆

    Liked by 1 person

    1. petespringerauthor November 27, 2021 — 8:20 am

      Your posts are great. Why reinvent the wheel? 😊

      Liked by 1 person

      1. The wordplay posts are gaining a following. Words are so much fun!

        Liked by 1 person

    1. petespringerauthor November 27, 2021 — 8:18 am

      Just having a little fun, John. One of the pieces of writing advice I frequently see is to avoid using cliches.

      Liked by 1 person

  35. Clever post, Pete. It made me as happy as a pig in you know what reading it 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. petespringerauthor November 27, 2021 — 8:17 am

      I should have known that many readers would think of their own cliches when responding. I’ve opened up the floodgates.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Bitten off more than you can chew?

        Liked by 1 person

  36. How long did it take you to come up that? My guess it wasn’t as fast as greased lightning ⚡️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. petespringerauthor November 27, 2021 — 8:14 am

      It’s not over until the fat lady sings.😊

      Like

  37. Uh oh. Your story broke my Cliche Meter. This would make a good writing exercise for students. Write a story with as many cliches as you can; then rewrite it with no cliches.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. petespringerauthor November 27, 2021 — 8:12 am

      While I was writing this, I kept thinking of those whose first language is not English. It’s a complicated enough language to learn with all of the words that don’t follow standard rules and then throw in all these goofy cliches, and it’s no wonder ELLs are so confused.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re right about that. There are so many English idioms that make no sense to non-native speakers.

        Liked by 1 person

  38. You’re making me wonder where they all originated. Certainly not this century. Thanks for the smile.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. petespringerauthor November 27, 2021 — 8:07 am

      While I was teaching (again with the teaching😝) I remember times when some old cliche came out of my mouth and my students would look at me in wonder. “Get into the 21st century, Springer.”

      Liked by 1 person

  39. This was the bee’s knees!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. petespringerauthor November 27, 2021 — 8:03 am

      Now it’s back to the drawing board. It really is a miracle that you find something to write about each day, Brad.

      Liked by 1 person

  40. hahahaha – perfection!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. petespringerauthor November 27, 2021 — 8:01 am

      Every dog has its day. 😊

      Liked by 1 person

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