Writer’s Envy

My wife and I started and finished our educational careers the same year, so we’ve been pretty much joined at the hip after meeting in college and being married for 36 years. I say that a bit tongue in cheek because we have a nice balance of enjoying our time together while also pursuing individual interests. She understands that I like to be busy and encourages and supports me in whatever activities I pursue. Quite naturally, I try to do the same.

We were able to retire at a relatively young age through careful financial planning with a sprinkle of luck thrown in as we remained relatively healthy. From the second year of our careers, until we retired, we put money into a tax-sheltered annuity. We learned early on that “you don’t miss what you can’t see.” I give us high marks for balancing life in the present while looking toward the future.

While most of our friends were happy for us when we retired, a few reactions left me scratching my head. “How can you retire? You’re too young. What are you going to do all day?” I’ve never understood those sentiments, which I can only characterize as jealousy or envy. We shouldn’t have to apologize for doing a great job of planning and self-discipline.

What reminded me of this was the release of a new book by one of the people in my critique group. While I want my blog readers to know about the book and the man who wrote it, the primary purpose of this post is not to write another book review but to consider how we act when someone we know reaches a significant milestone in their life. If the first emotion we feel is something other than happiness for someone’s achievements, then we should be taking a hard look at ourselves.

I think it’s safe to say that most people are happy for their friends when they learn a new baby is on the way. Yet, I can also understand someone who has been unsuccessfully trying to get pregnant for a long time might also have a twinge of envy at a friend’s announcement.

It’s also a safe bet that most feel joy when a friend gets a fabulous new job with a healthy raise. However, it might be a little harder to feel the same way if our friend gets that same job over us. The one time I had something like this happen was when I came out of the teaching program at the same time as many of my friends. It was a strange feeling to go from a collegial relationship taking classes with others about to enter the same field, to suddenly be competing with these same people for the few teaching jobs in the area.

One of the people I went to school with and had become friends with interviewed for the same position as me. To her credit, she genuinely seemed happy for me when I got the job. I never forgot it; her actions gave me even more respect for her character. Karma may have been in play because the district hired her when the next teaching job became available. We went on to teach together for three decades, and she was one of the best educators I have ever worked with.

I take inspiration from anyone who follows through and reaches a goal they have worked hard to achieve, regardless of the aim. Sara Bareilles, the two-time Grammy award-winning singer/songwriter, was born and raised in my town—Eureka, California. Her resume includes Emmy and Tony award nominations, so she’s more than a singer. I’ve never met Bareilles, yet I feel happy for her with each achievement. This reaction is further enhanced because she’s used her celebrity for charitable causes and seems like a great role model for girls to emulate.

Sara Bareilles (Wikipedia)

Talented blogger and writer friend Sally Cronin wrote a book entitled Size Matters, detailing her journey from living with obesity to becoming fit and helping others. Not only did she change the course of her life, but she inspired others to do the same.

Writer Sally Cronin

Size Matters by Sally Cronin

A true world traveler, Sally Cronin has lived in eight different countries. She has a rich employment history and has worked in many different industries. She is the author of 14 books and runs an incredible daily blog here: https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/

I feel the same way when other writing friends and acquaintances complete a project because we all know the pride and accomplishment gained from reaching our goals. I’m trying to follow the same model that other writing friends such as John Howell, Marcia Meara, and Marian Beaman have demonstrated. Each had a successful career and became a writer later in life. Why can’t I do the same?  

Writer John Howell

The Last Drive by John Howell

John spent more than 40 years in business and is now the author of five books. He has a very popular blog where he writes about many humorous things, including his beloved dogs, Lucy and Twiggy. Learn more about him and his books at this website: https://johnwhowell.com/

Writer Marcia Meara

A Boy Named Rabbit by Marcia Meara

Marcia published her first book at the age of 69. She now has eleven books in her portfolio. When she isn’t writing, you might see her giving wildlife presentations in Florida. Learn more about Marcia at this website: https://marciamearawrites.com/

Writer Marian Beaman

Mennonite Daughter by Marian Beaman (Marians’s Memoir)

Marian’s life story is fascinating. Raised Mennonite, she wrote about her experiences in the novel above. She then went on to teach at the university level for more than 40 years. She and her husband have been married for over 50 years. She expects to release her second book in the next few months. Find out more about Marian here: https://marianbeaman.com/

Beneath the Paint by David Mohrmann isn’t just his story but a cumulation of collaboration and feedback. Dave would have written this book with or without us; he’s a talented writer and deserves full credit for turning it into a piece of art. (I’m referring to the story itself, but he also painted the cover.) I feel an extra sense of joy for him because I know the effort that went into making this come to fruition. How can I feel anything but delight for him?

I acknowledge that there is also an extra layer of pride in knowing as one of Dave’s critique partners, we had a minor role in getting him across the finish line. As someone who spent his career in education, I believe in the collaborative process. We take feedback from others and either utilize or ignore it. Ultimately, our writing partners help us to consider other points of view and make our writing stronger.

Beneath the Paint by David Mohrmann—one of my writing critique partners and a terrific guy.

Description of critique partner, David Mohrmann’s recently released book, now available on Amazon. https://www.amazon.com/Beneath-Paint-David-Mohrmann/dp/0996992219

I will continue to celebrate and learn from the accomplishments of others. Writing is not a competition, nor should it be a solitary pursuit of locking ourselves in a room and emerging months later. There’s room for us all to participate in this creative pursuit and find joy in each other’s successes.