Overcoming Fear

Photo credit to MART PRODUCTION on Pexels

Regardless of where one lives, we will always share things as humans. It’s one of the ways we connect with others. We have goals, dreams, ambitions, and even fears. I don’t know of anyone who isn’t afraid of something. Oh sure, some people talk a good game, but deep down, they’re just as fearful as the rest of us.

What are the most common phobias of people? In preparing to write this piece, I came across this article by Kendra Cherry detailing ten of the most common phobias: https://www.verywellmind.com/most-common-phobias-4136563

Her breakdown goes like this:

1. Arachnophobia—Fear of spiders and other arachnids.
2. Ophidiophobia—Fear of snakes. (One of my worst.)
3. Acrophobia—Fear of heights.
4. Aerophobia—Fear of flying.
5. Cynophobia—Fear of dogs.
6. Astraphobia—Fear of thunder and lightning.
7. Trypanophobia—Fear of injections.
8. Social Phobia (Social Anxiety Disorder)—Fear of social situations.
9. Agoraphobia—Fear of being alone.
10. Mysophobia—Fear of germs and dirt.

There are hundreds of other phobias. Many are ones that you probably didn’t even know existed or may seem silly. They can be debilitating for the people who possess them and affect us physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Working with mental health professionals helps people manage their phobias. According to the Mayo Clinic, two of the most common effective treatments are (1) Exposure Therapy and (2) Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/specific-phobias/diagnosis-treatment/ Exposure therapy concentrates on changing our responses to the objects or situations we fear. Cognitive behavioral therapy involves coping skills.  

Some people find sharing their fears hard because they don’t want to appear vulnerable or insecure. They think that others will think less of them if they show weakness. Indeed, many messages in society reinforce this message.  Remember this slogan? The Few. The Proud. The Marines. How about this proverb attributed to legendary football coach Knute Rockne? When the going gets tough, the tough get going.

I know there is value in having tenacity and determination. I’m not suggesting that we turn into a bunch of wimps. Life can be challenging. Learning to cope with and overcome our fears is a necessity.

One of the barriers I see frequently discussed among my fellow authors is the fear of failure or the notion that our writing isn’t up to the level of someone else’s. Self-doubt is an enormous inhibitor, even with some of the most successful writers. It’s human nature to compare ourselves to others, but is it realistic to expect we’re going to do something as well as someone with more experience?

Instead of comparing myself to others, what works for me is concentrating on my growth. I’ve become a better writer in the past two years, past year, or even six months. Does that mean I’ve gotten to where I want to go? No, but seeing my improvement encourages me to keep going.

Like any other skill, there is no substitute for practice. If we genuinely want to get better at any skill, we must be willing to put in the work. When we set goals for ourselves, part of the process is thinking about how best we get from point A to point B? What are the steps that we need to take to accomplish our goals? That’s where having a plan and determination comes in handy. If we don’t like the path we’re on, do something about it. There are two kinds of people in life:  those who make excuses and those who get things done.

I applaud anybody who takes that leap of faith and goes after their goals with fearlessness. We recognize firefighters, police officers, and military personnel for their bravery, but equally inspiring are the courageous acts of ordinary people who pursue their goals. Does it mean they weren’t afraid? Of course not, but they didn’t let their fears stop them. I take inspiration from anyone chasing their dream.

Bravery? How about the dad who works full-time, coaches his kid’s soccer team, and takes classes at night? What about the single mom raising three kids, caring for an elderly parent, working part-time, and spending her free time taking online courses? Consider the child living in poverty, being the first one in their family to go to college or learn a trade. That’s true courage and perseverance.

Here is a secret I’ve discovered for those who have trouble expressing their fears: opening yourself up to the world takes courage, but nine times out of ten, people will respect you for doing it. Share your dreams, the mistakes you’ve made, your fears, and what you’ve learned from them. Instead of being afraid that others will laugh at us, you may be surprised how often people will admire you for it. The characters I can most identify with in stories are the ones like you and me—they’re imperfect but trying to improve themselves. How can we not root for those same people in real life?

In March, I will have been blogging for three years. I’ve met so many amazing people from around the globe. It is one of the reasons I’m still here. As I was thinking about writing this post, one of my newer blogging pals, Michelle (Shelly), over at Growing with Spawn (How great is that blog name?) https://growingwithspawn.com/ produced this excellent YouTube production on fear. She describes herself as being introverted, but there is no way that you can watch this video and think of her that way. I’m sure she’s being honest when she admits that, and yet she found it within herself to go for it and produce this great content. I guarantee that someone (maybe you) will take inspiration from her video.

Michelle (Shelly) from Growing with Spawn Blog

If we’re observant, inspiration is all around us. It isn’t the activity that moves me; it’s the commitment. Overcoming our fears is what makes us feel good about ourselves. How do we put a price on that?

As another one of my blogging buddies and outstanding poet, Brad Osborne, writes, https://commonsensiblyspeaking.wordpress.com/ “Now get out there and write something.”